buy me a mur-sades benz

I swear, if it's got wheels and an engine, I can kill it. My CP71 Vic died a quick death, and after a bit of money, it's still sitting in the yard in true redneck fashion. I've been driving dads truck, and it died today. I'm a car killer...I got the reverse midas touch. Anything I touch turns to shit....STAY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So....I'm down to driving the punisher bronco, which I try to avoid daily, cause it uses more gas than most small countries.  I go this afternoon to gas it up, and some guys trying to hawk a car washing product, offer to demo it on my bronco? really, look at this thing. The only thing holding it together is the dirt and rust. It's not seen a washing since the 80's!  Dude asks me, what color is this?....it's primer you nutsack! Need a car killed, let me drive it for a week. Check in tomorrow for what will probably be a fun story of how the bronco died a painful death. damn.